Sasuke in Unicorn Land
by HylianChronicles
Summary: BE WARNED! THIS IS A CRACKFIC OF THE HIGHEST ORDER! Sasuke wakes up in Unicorn Land! How did he get there? Why is the character with the most character depth Tenten! Please R&R!
1. Sasuke in Unicorn Land

Sasuke in Unicorn Land

Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of the other Naruto characters. They all belong to Mr. Masashi Kishimoto. I only own this fanfic.

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"Oy…Sasuke, you drink anymore of that and you'll pass out." Kakashi warned.

"Psh, only fools pass out from root beer." Sasuke drunkenly.

30 minutes later

KA-KLUNK!!!

"Sasuke? Umm, Sasuke? Hey! Wake up!" Kakashi said as he shook Sasuke, who had collapsed onto the restaurant floor.

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"Hey, you, get up!" Kankuro said as he poked Sasuke with a stick.

SLAP!

"OW!! What the heck's your problem!?" Sasuke yelled as he jerked up.

"Who are you?" Kankuro asked.

Just then, Sasuke's vision came back into focus. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. The sky was a bright purple color and he was laying in a field of rainbow-colored grass. To his left was a giant rock made out of peppermint and in the distance to his right, he saw a giant green lake.

"Where the heck am I?" exclaimed Sasuke dazed as he rubbed his red cheek.

"Answer the question!" said Kankuro, getting angry.

"And If I don't?" Sasuke said; equaling annoyed.

"Because if you don't, I'll have you get sent to the duengoens where a drunken Orochimaru will be waiting with a cactus shaped like Zetsu's head, and a bucket of cleaning products. So pick, come quietly or a drunk Orochimaru?" Kankuro retorted.

Holy crap, anything's better than Orichimaru, especially a drunken one, Sasuke thought to himself as a shiver went down his spine.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha, hey, haven't I seen you before?" Sasuke asked.

"Psh, I doubt it, we've never met before."

"You're Gaara's older brother…what was it? Oh yeah, your name is Klark right?"

"Hmph, my name is Kankuro but I have no clue who this _Gaara_person is. Now come on, we gonna go to see the princess to find out what to do with you. Come on, we'll be riding unicorns." said Kankuro as he pulled out a whistle that was looked like a tooth.

"Hmph, I'm not going anywhere before you tell me where we are." Sasuke stubbornly said.

"Are you an idiot? We're in Unicorn Land, duh. In the sky are the cotton candy clouds. To your right is the Misty Green Lake of Key Lime Soda and to your left is the Minty Metomorphic Rock. And what you're lying in right now are the Great Gummy Worm Fields," said Kankuro as he blew into the whistle.

TOOT!!

Just then, a great galloping noise could be heard in the distance. The noise got closer and closer until it seemed only a few feet away.

"I heard the glorious tone of the Magical Whistle of Youth felt the youthfulness explode in this area!" yelled an unknown, yet strangely familiar voice.

"Your words are so inspiring Gai-sensei!" yelled a younger sounding, even more strangely familiar voice.

Right then and there, Sasuke saw one of the most disturbing creatures in his life.


	2. Princess Tenten

Sasuke in Unicorn Land

Chapter 2: Princess Tenten

A/N: Here is my 2nd installment of my story, Sasuke in Unicorn Land!

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"HOLY CRAP! WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE!?" screamed Sasuke as the 2 green beasts approached him.

"Hey everybody! How are your youthful selves this fine morning?" asked the larger one of the monsters.

"WHAT ARE YOU!?" Sasuke shouted.

"These will be our escorts for our _long _journey to the great Sand Castle!" explained Kankuro.

The 2 green monsters stepped into light and what stood before them was a being that resembled a human head, on a unicorn's body. In this case, it was Rock Lee's and Gai's head on 2 green unicorn's bodies. Directly on each one of their foreheads was a single horn. They weren't like centaurs; they only had a human head, no human torso.

"Ok, now hop onto one, we're gonna ride them," said Kankuro.

"You gotta be kidding me right, ugh." Sasuke said glumly.

"I'll be riding Gai, he's the bigger one of the two. You'll be riding Lee, he's the younger one of the 2." explained Kankuro.

"Alright Lee! If we cannot make it to the Sand Castle within 5 minutes, that's 600 laps around the Candy Corn Valley!" Gai screamed.

"No problem Gai-sensei!" Lee exclaimed.

Sasuke and Kankuro hopped onto the 2 unicorns and they began their walk past the Valley of Sweets, behind the Cookie Chasm, through Unicorn Meadows, over the Merciless Mansion of Monsters, and past the Cinnamon Bun School of Pastry-Making.

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5 minutes, 2 seconds later

"For shame Lee! 2 seconds late! That's it! 1,000 laps around Candy Corn Valley!" Unicorn Gai screamed.

"Your right! 2,000 around would be better!" Unicorn Lee yelled.

With that, the 2 unicorn beasts ran off into the distance leaving poor scarred for life Sasuke and Kankuro in front of what seemed to be a giant sand castle. It was like a couple of giants were having a nice day at the beach and made this. It was a dark brown color with a couple of light brown blotches. Surrounding it was a long, streaming blue river. Like a giant ring around the structure that broke off behind the tower.

"Who goes there?" yelled a far away voice.

"It is I, Kankuro, with a prisoner by the name of Sasuke. I am off to visit the princess to find out what to do with him." Kankuro yelled back.

"Very well, you may enter." The voice said.

BOOM!

Just then, a portion of the tower collapsed, leaving an opening for them to enter. Kankuro lead Sasuke as they both stepped into the giant hole in the wall. As soon as they were in, the giant hole sealed back up.

The inside of the tower was amazing! It was like the world's fanciest, richest people all got together to create one big tower where they could all live in. The floors were made of a beautiful marble and the walls were made of shiny granite. A huge staircase that seemed to go on and on swirled upstairs.

"Come, we are off the to the princess's throne room," said Kankuro.

The two walked up the staircase and the way to the top and followed down the hallway her throne room.

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"This is it, the princess's throne room." Kankuro explained.

They stepped in the room and everything was dark. A silhouette of a girl could be seen in the darkness.

"Princess, you sent me to find the disturbance you detected. When I got there, I found him; he goes by the name of Sasuke Uchiha." Kankuro told the princess.

"You have done well Kankuro, you may go now. I wish to speak to Mr. Uchiha alone." Said an extremely familiar voice.

"Very well your Highness." Kankuro said as he stepped out of the room.

Out of the darkness stepped the Princess. Once her figure was fully in the light Sasuke immediately noticed something.

"Tenten!? Is that you?" Sasuke said surprised.

"Yes it me, I am Princess Tenten, heir to the throne. I am the daughter of Queen Naruto and King Sakura. And I know you as well. You are from the real realm, well guess what, so am I. Everyone you have met are also from the real world. But they have all been brainwashed and their DNA has been altered. Of course this isn't the kind of place I would have chosen, with all the candy and stuff, but in order to keep everyone's little minds from remembering the real world and trying to go against me, I had to make these kinds of landscapes. Back in the real world, I had absolutely no character depth, the only people I had more character depth than were those chunnin that die in the back round that no one really cares about, but here, everyone shall soon know the name, Tenten! Muhwahahahahaha!!! Right now, the only thing that stands in my way is you Sasuke. This means I'll have to dispose of you quickly, and don't worry about Kankuro and those idiot unicorns, I'll just wipe their memory of them meeting you." Tenten explained.

"Then why don't you just wipe my memory like everyone else?" Sasuke angrily replied.

"A fine question, you see, because you possess an ocular ninjutsu, the sharingan, my mind-wiping justsu won't work on you. The same thing goes with anyone else with an ocular ninjutsu, such as the Hyuuga Clan with their Byakugan. Unfortunately for me, some members of the Hyuuga Clan have escaped, and 2 people that posess the Sharingan have also escaped. I will not allow for a third. So prepare to be destroyed."


	3. The Prisoners Escaped!

Sasuke in Unicorn Land

Chapter 3: The Prisoners Escaped!

A/N: In a part of this chapter, I poked fun at the SasuNaru couple, but I in no way support it because I-am-a-guy. I just thought it would appeal to all those yaoi-obsessed fangirls.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto series or any of the characters; they all belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

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The lights in the room suddenly flickered on and showed a strange room full of every type of ninja tool and weapon imaginable. Kunai of every size and shape were fixed onto the left wall. Bomb tags hung from the ceiling. Katanas and shurikens were balanced on the right wall. The entire floor around Tenten was covered in poisonous spikes.

"And don't plan on escaping..." Tenten grinned as she threw a senbon at a switch right beside Sasuke's head, hitting a switch that locked both of the within the room, while slicing off a lock of Sasuke's hair at the same time.

"Heh, finally some action in this crazy universe, and next time, watch the hair." Sasuke said as he and jumped at Tenten with a kunai in hand.

CLANG!

The sound of Sasuke's kunai and Tenten's katana that she had summoned from her scroll echoed through the throne room.

"Ha! You'll never win! You're trapped in here with nothing but your minuscule ninja tools when I have every kind of weapon imaginable! There is no way you can win!" Tenten yelled haughtily.

"That's what you think!" Sasuke shouted as he activated his clan's signature Kekkai Genkai.

"Take this!" Sasuke screamed as conjured a Chidori and charged at Tenten, being careful not to step on the spikes.

"Oh sh--" Tenten said, but could never finish her sentence because she had to quickly dodge the attack.

Sasuke's Chidori destroyed the wall behind Tenten, making a large hole in it. Many of Tenten's weapons fell through the hole, taking Sasuke with them.

"Crap!" yelled as he fell along with the falling debris and sharp weapons from the tallest point of the tower, down into the stream that surrounded the castle. When Sasuke hit the water he ultimately lost consciousness as he floated down the river.

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"Nooooo!!! How could I let him escape?!" Tenten screamed as she frantically looked for Sasuke from the roof of her castle.

"Kankuro!" Tenten commanded.

"Yes Princess?" Kankuro answered as he ran up to the roof.

"We have reached a matter of the upmost importance! It is time to activate plan Alpha Beta Delta Wolfe Squadron Attack Force Star Gemini #10-10!

"Yes ma'am! Kankuro said as he ran off to tell everyone the news.

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"Hey, you get up, you're scaring away my customers." A lazy voice said.

"…hehe…stop it Naruto…that tickles…" Sasuke murmured in his half-asleep state of mind.

"Ugh, how troublesome…"

SPLASH!

"AHH!!! WHAT!? WHERE AM I?!" Sasuke yelled as he jumped from his sleep.

"Good, you're awake." Said the lazy yet familiar voice.

"Sasuke looked up; he was sitting in a shallow puddle, in a mushroom-filled forest. Looking down on him was Shikamaru, holding an empty bucket of water. He was standing behind a wooden stand that read "Enchanted Chocolates: 5 Unidollars."

"I know that sleeping is good, but just don't do it here." Shikamaru said.

"Shikamaru? Is that you?"

'Listen, I don't know who you are or how you know my name, in fact, I could care less, but I have to get back to selling these candies before Chouji gets back here, and your muddy body that's just lying there is scaring away my customers."

"Where am I anyway?"

Ugh, tourists, how troublesome, Shikamaru thought to himself.

"You're in Fungi Forest's Town Square…duh."

"Fungi…Forest?"

"…so you're telling me you've never heard of Fungi Forest?"

"sigh…no I haven't."

Ugh, what is up with these names? Sasuke silently thought to himself.

"Fungi Forest is the most popular forest in all of Unicorn Land. That's why I'm here; this is where everyone comes to sell their crud. I really don't like being around here. It's too loud, but it's where I can make the most money."

Sasuke quickly picked himself up and took a better around. The area around him was full of many different colors. Little huts in the shapes of neon mushrooms stretched as far as the eye could see.

While Sasuke looked around in awe at the surrounding area, a trumpet could be heard in the distance along with the sound of stomping.

"TOOT, TOOT, TOOT!"

"What the hell are they doing here?" Shikamaru said as he turned his head towards the noise.

"Who?" Sasuke asked in his usual cool and calm voice.

"The Uni-Chuunin of course! Man, what is with you? Have you lived in a dirt hole all your life or something? Your weird…heck…I don't even know your name…"

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. And by the way…"

"Quiet! Commander Kankuro is about to talk! You wanna get us killed?" Shikamaru whispered in Sasuke's ear.

Kankuro walked into the center of the Town Square with a scroll in his hand.

"Attention! Princess Tenten has a message for the entire kingdom of Unicorn Land! 5 deadly prisoners have escaped the dungeon within the Sand Castle! Anyone found harboring any of these criminals will receive a severe punishment!" Kankuro explained.

"Hehe." Shikamaru said with a smirk.

These criminals go by the name of Hinata Hyuuga, Neji Hyuuga, Itachi Uchiha, Obito Uchiha and… Sasuke Uchiha!


End file.
